I lost another day today, whoosh, gone, don't know where it went. I don't what I did today, I really don't. I wish I could point to the Xbox, or mention some movie, something. If I'm going to blow off a whole day and not get any work done, I should at least have something to say for the time I spent not working. But I can't think of anything, really. What happened?
Retracing my steps to see where it went wrong...
Came up to bed at 10:30pm last night. My son was out of his bed, sitting on the bed I share with my wife. He wanted someone to come lay with him for a bit. Sometimes he's scared of the dark, sometimes he wants to snuggle but doesn't want to have to say it, sometimes he's just wound up and has trouble falling asleep. So I went to his room and we lay down on his bed. I think I fell asleep before he did.
So I never did make it to my bed last night. I woke up about 4:45am in my son's bed, snuck out to not wake him up, and went downstairs. Watched the 5am news, huddled in a blanket. Ate some breakfast. I think I first lost some time in here, curled up with the cat on the couch and suddenly it was 6:30am. Maybe I fell asleep, I'm not sure.
Got the kids to daycare, but one of them was "return to sender". Baby girl had a diaper blowout on the way, so I had to bring her back home and get her cleaned up. That set me back an extra 45 minutes, to drive back, get her cleaned up and changed in a new outfit and back to daycare again. I decided to go get a donut (ok, donuts), so that was another half hour off the clock. I came downstairs to the office and then I don't know. I didn't do anything and I can't remember how I spent the time. I didn't even light a fire in the fireplace, didn't watch any YouTube videos or anything like that, can't remember reading any articles, nothing... Certainly didn't do any work. I came upstairs around noon and a had a slice of pizza. I do remember talking to my wife on the phone for a bit this morning.
After the pizza, again, it's just a blur, I can't remember doing anything. It's only 5:30pm now, but between noon and 5pm, I can't recall a single thing that I did with that time. It's kind of freaking me out. I didn't sleep, I know I was here at my desk, but there's just a void there.
Am I not sleeping right? Well, no, I know that I'm not sleeping that well, but still, last night wasn't so bad as far as amount of sleep is concerned. My eating isn't that good, but it's not completely terrible, just mostly terrible. I know, I know, the donut and pizza, so yeah, it sounds pretty bad, that's probably part of the problem. The day started with a healthy breakfast though, so at least there was one good decision there. I'm not exercising and that's bad. I really thought I was going to do it this morning, but then the whole diaper blowout thing set me back and the plans to exercise just floated away, I guess.
So probably many of my issues could be dealt with by just tackling the big three hugely obvious things that I'm doing wrong regarding my health: sleep right, eat right, exercise. Yeah, not exactly rocket science here to figure out my problems. I can jump right into a midlife crisis, teenage angst regression kind of thing, bemoan my ongoing depression struggles some more and there would be some validity to those things, but let's be real, I need to get a handle on the big three before I have any right to bitch and moan. I don't eat very much, but what I do eat is 60% horrible food, I sit all day and thinking about exercising hasn't yet translated to actually exercising. The sleep has been chronically bad for a year now and that is largely out my control right now, but man, if I can eat better and get more exercise, the sleep would probably improve at least a little bit as well.
But man, today.... what the hell happened to today. It's just gone and I could half swear that I wasn't aware of it happening at all.
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